"But when you turn off your emotions to the people you love, all it does is create distance. Especially us, as men. We tend to turn off all emotion, even when we don’t need to. That used to be me, but it all changed after I found myself on Ground Zero as a firefighter during 9/11.⁠
♥️⁠
The NYC fire department lost 343 firefighters. Being there on that day was like being on another planet. I saw so many people I knew just... vanish. But it was the months afterwards that were incredibly stressful.⁠
♥️⁠
We firefighters don’t get a lot of help with learning to talk about stressful events. We learn to separate our work from our home and that’s about it. The problem was that my wife was stressed out too. She felt like she couldn’t talk to me because she didn’t want to make me feel worse. Then, I couldn’t talk to her because I didn’t want to bring work home. What do you think started happening to my marriage?⁠
♥️⁠
There was no oxygen to give life to my marriage, so the distance crept in. So much of what I teach now is what I learned to do back then. It's called Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). I never thought I’d be traveling around the world talking about emotions. It’s all about flexibility. If we’re okay getting help to turn it off, we should all be okay getting help to turn it back on.” — George Faller, MS, LMFT

 

You can reach George Faller at:

 

George recommended:

Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
 

Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

Every year between 12/26 and 12/31, we sit down with intentionality and map out new habits for each area of our life and marriage - including our sex life! Hope you'll join us LIVE on 1/15/21 @ 5:30pm where we'll share a template for YOUR goal setting session and we'll share OUR 2021 goals. :)
 
Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
 

Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

In this episode, we interview Nick and Amy McKinlay, the creators of the Christian marriage app, @ultimateintimacyapp. This couple figured out how to attain and maintain ultimate intimacy, so they created an app for it so that they could help many more couples on this journey!

 

Hear their story about how they went from quantity sex to quality sex after having four children. 

 

You can reach Nick and Amy at:

amy@ultimateintimacy.com

 

Nick and Amy Recommended:

Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
 

Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

In this interview, we interview Christian apologist Nancy Pearcey on her new book, Love Thy Body. Yes, the title is a little shocking to some, but it is, as she argues, the biblical point of view. The body is created by God and is good. Down through the centuries, as secularism has taken root, the reverence for the body as God's creation has been displaced. We explore these topics along with asking, "What, if any, non-biblical ideas about the body have infiltrated Christianity? What's the societal result of not loving your body?"

Tune in for this fascinating conversation. 

 

You can reach Nancy at:

www.nancypearcey.com

 

Nancy Recommended:

 
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Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

“My biggest piece of advice for the wedding night: Don’t aim for intercourse, aim for arousal.⁠
♥️⁠
Christian women experience sexual pain at twice the rate of the general population… so this is OUR problem. I think a large part of that is due to the rushing for intercourse on the wedding night, even if she’s been looking forward to sex her whole life.⁠
♥️⁠
The reason we tell dating couples to avoid lying down on a couch together and making out is because once you start in that progression, it can be hard to stop. The couples that avoid those things when they’re dating often end up completely skipping steps on their wedding night. They’re thinking, 'Now we can have sex, so why would you do all those middle things?'⁠
♥️⁠
That’s why I ask couples to ask themselves why it is that those middle things are arousing? Why is making out while your hands wander arousing?⁠ It’s often because you’re not aiming for anything — you’re just enjoying each other. You’re taking a really long time and you’re RELAXED together.⁠
♥️⁠
What happens for many couples on their wedding night is that they feel like they have to have sex… so they take off their clothes and try intercourse. In the surveys that we did, a lot of women said that they were not aroused the first time they had sex and that’s a problem…⁠
♥️⁠
Instead of aiming for intercourse on your wedding night, aim for arousal so you can stay relaxed together. I know it’s really difficult because you’ve been looking forward to this your whole life, but just trust me on this one.” — Sheila Wray Gregoire, MA⁠
♥️⁠
Listen in to hear the much-needed conversation we have with award-winning author/public speaker, Sheila Wray Gregoire.⁠

Sheila recommended:

You can reach Sheila at:

 
Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
 

Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

"My generation was raised by pornography. When it comes to learning sexuality, porn was our parent. Porn was our substitute girlfriend. Porn was our Sex Ed teacher. More importantly, it became our pacifier.⁠" - Drew Boa, MA

Drew Boa is passionate about helping men become porn-free before marriage and he runs the "Husband Material" programs (links below). In today's episode, he shares a method to help you get to the bottom of a pornography addiction.

To download a FREE PDF of the FLOSS method discussed in the episode today, go here.

Drew recommended:

You can reach Drew Boa at:

 
Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
 

Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

This is a multifaceted question (and a question that we receive a lot here at DYMC), but we cover what the answer to this question ultimately comes down to in today’s ASK episode on the #DYMCpodcast.⁠

 

Are you enjoying these mini ASK episodes with your voices recorded in them?⁠ You can record your own question for our next episode here:

 

Connect with us on IG/FB: @dearyoungmarriedcouple www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com

 

P.S. If you're a married couple, here's a shameless plug for the SEXPECTATIONS Deck - 52 cards of questions designed with you in mind - grab it here.

"In the premarital stage, what are some good boundaries to have sexually?" When we get this question, we like to use a model called "The Dating Ladder" to answer it. We got the idea from our friends over at Moral Revolution (they dubbed it "The Intimacy Ladder" and we expound upon it in today's episode on the #DYMCpodcast).⁠

 

This question was asked from the SpeakPipe (where your recorded voice is actually in the episode). Record YOUR question for our next ask episode here on SpeakPipe.

 

Connect with us on IG/FB: @dearyoungmarriedcouple www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com

 

P.S. If you're a dating/engaged couple, here's a shameless plug for the REALIZATIONS deck - 52 cards of questions designed with you in mind - grab it here.

"Don’t wait to give until you get... It goes both ways: don’t wait to have sex with your partner until they’re doing all the things outside the bedroom. On the other hand, don’t wait to do things outside the bedroom until you’re getting the sex you want inside the bedroom.⁠⁠ It’s important for couples to work on meeting these needs so that they can move TOWARD each other." - Dr. Morgan Cutlip

Today's episode covers the not-so-talked about dynamics of your sexual relationship. Tune in to hear our interview with Dr. Morgan Cutlip, relationship expert and course creator.

 

Dr. Morgan Cutlip recommended:

You can reach Dr. Morgan Cutlip at:

 
Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
 

Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

"We’re so open about sharing our story, as many times and as often as necessary, because if one more person can realize this happens, that this is a thing and that they can get out of it, then it’s so worth it." - Cole and Cait Zick, Directors of Moral Revolution

 

In this episode, Cole and Cait share their story of having entirely different upbringings around sex and sexuality, how they merged their lives, and how they healed from being completely disconnected in their sex life. Now, they have a thriving and healthy sex life and they're here to share how they did it. 

 

Cole and Cait recommended:

You can reach Cole and Cait:
Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
 

Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!

Here’s the YouTube Video we talked about during the shout-out at the beginning on 3 Strategies for Praying Together as a Married Couple

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