"But when you turn off your emotions to the people you love, all it does is create distance. Especially us, as men. We tend to turn off all emotion, even when we don’t need to. That used to be me, but it all changed after I found myself on Ground Zero as a firefighter during 9/11.
The NYC fire department lost 343 firefighters. Being there on that day was like being on another planet. I saw so many people I knew just... vanish. But it was the months afterwards that were incredibly stressful.
We firefighters don’t get a lot of help with learning to talk about stressful events. We learn to separate our work from our home and that’s about it. The problem was that my wife was stressed out too. She felt like she couldn’t talk to me because she didn’t want to make me feel worse. Then, I couldn’t talk to her because I didn’t want to bring work home. What do you think started happening to my marriage?
There was no oxygen to give life to my marriage, so the distance crept in. So much of what I teach now is what I learned to do back then. It's called Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). I never thought I’d be traveling around the world talking about emotions. It’s all about flexibility. If we’re okay getting help to turn it off, we should all be okay getting help to turn it back on.” — George Faller, MS, LMFT
You can reach George Faller at:
Join us for the next Monthly Live Date Night where we dig into some of these topics with you LIVE for 90 minutes this month!
In this episode, Adam and Karissa reflect back on October 8, 2007 - a date that Adam was 10 minutes from death and called Karissa while stuck in the cab of an old truck at the bottom of a 40-ft ravine (while his lung filled up with blood). Listen in to hear the story and lessons learned.
Hope you'll join us
LIVE on 1/15/21 @ 5:30pm where we'll share a template for YOUR goal setting session and we'll share OUR 2021 goals. We'll also cover "How to Write a Marriage Mission Statement".